Thursday
Jan212010
Playing pirates with my daughter - my lesson in mindfulness
Thursday, January 21, 2010 at 10:01PM
Being a fast-moving, high-anxiety type, I tend to have my "to do" list running constantly through my head. To be honest, I feel I've got my fair share on my plate (owning my own speech therapy business, raising two small children and one husband, trying to keep the house respectable, continuing to try to get/keep in shape while competing in my crazy new sport - triathlons...) And when I get some time at home to "get things done", I move full-steam ahead. But, life gets in the way as it always does. One beautiful, sunny, crisp fall day, my 6 year old is at kindergarten, and I am moving "full steam ahead" with my to-do list. I am ON FIRE with motivation, nothing can stop me.
Except for my 4 year-old. Who sweetly wants me to walk to the park with her. I PANIC. This wasn't in my plan! I still need to get X, Y, and Z done before the 6 year-old gets home!
But, being in the running for mother-of-the-year (ha-ha), I close my computer and reply (through gritted teeth) "Sure honey! Absolutely!"
On the walk, the sun is beating down on me. My HAIR is even hot. I am sweating. I am irritable. The tall grass is tickling my legs. I AM NOT ENJOYING THIS AT ALL I am barely aware of 4 year-old's little banter. She is somehow able to notice the flowers in the weeds, the tiny ladybug, and actually stops to blow a dandelion. She obviously does not have X, Y, and Z to complete before her sister gets home.
We are at the park, my shirt is sticking to my back, and now I am truly getting anxious about my to-do list. I am dutifully pushing daughter in the swing. Then she asks to play pirates. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Now I have to use my imagination and play a role? (of course, my role is the pirate, and she is the princess who is being trapped. Why do I always have to play the pirate, or the Beast, or the Stepmother?) But somehow, I remember that I want to start being mindful. To be more present in my life. So I say outloud, "I am playing pirates with my daughter."
And I start to cry.
And I am the best pirate I can be. And 4 year-old daughter loved it. And it only lasted for about 3 minutes, before she wanted to go home. Thank God I was able to enjoy it.
And guess what? The to-do list never got done. And it was OK. I got to play pirates with my daughter. How lucky am I?
Except for my 4 year-old. Who sweetly wants me to walk to the park with her. I PANIC. This wasn't in my plan! I still need to get X, Y, and Z done before the 6 year-old gets home!
But, being in the running for mother-of-the-year (ha-ha), I close my computer and reply (through gritted teeth) "Sure honey! Absolutely!"
On the walk, the sun is beating down on me. My HAIR is even hot. I am sweating. I am irritable. The tall grass is tickling my legs. I AM NOT ENJOYING THIS AT ALL I am barely aware of 4 year-old's little banter. She is somehow able to notice the flowers in the weeds, the tiny ladybug, and actually stops to blow a dandelion. She obviously does not have X, Y, and Z to complete before her sister gets home.
We are at the park, my shirt is sticking to my back, and now I am truly getting anxious about my to-do list. I am dutifully pushing daughter in the swing. Then she asks to play pirates. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Now I have to use my imagination and play a role? (of course, my role is the pirate, and she is the princess who is being trapped. Why do I always have to play the pirate, or the Beast, or the Stepmother?) But somehow, I remember that I want to start being mindful. To be more present in my life. So I say outloud, "I am playing pirates with my daughter."
And I start to cry.
And I am the best pirate I can be. And 4 year-old daughter loved it. And it only lasted for about 3 minutes, before she wanted to go home. Thank God I was able to enjoy it.
And guess what? The to-do list never got done. And it was OK. I got to play pirates with my daughter. How lucky am I?
Reader Comments (1)
This is just beautiful. Precious.